1 year ago · Admin · 0 comments
A few days ago, my friends and I were having a casual talk on how everybody in our society is behaving in unacceptable way but it seems right to everybody around. There is corruption in every institution, young people having multiple sex partners, church leaders involved in scandals, extra marital activities have been normalized, young and old abusing drugs and many more. I have been thinking about that particular talk and wondering what changed, or what is happening to us. One of the things that could contribute to these kinds of behaviors is low self esteem.
Self esteem is a way in which a person values self. It is trait that develops from a very early stage in life. We tend to compare ourselves to those around us. We also tend to pick positive and negative messages from our primary caregivers which tend to shape how we view ourselves, and the price tag we place on ourselves. Positive messages like, you are beautiful, you are a brilliant child, you are a fast learner, and many more, instill confidence in a child. However; negative messages such as, Mary is better than you, you are a stupid child, you can never do anything right, your nose is too big and many more, tend to put a child down and lose confidence.
WHAT SELF-ESTEEM IS NOT
Good or high self-esteem doesn’t make one a bragger, or a bully. It doesn’t make one to constantly remind others on how important you are, how rich you are, how you are better than others, who your family is, how many sexual partners you have. It is not being self centered or being narcissistic, or proud. It is not putting others down, or belittling them to your glory and promotion. It is not doing all the wrong or socially unacceptable things to gain popularity.
People with low self esteem tend to compensate for their inadequacies. Because they were meant to belief that they are not beautiful or handsome, then they get into premarital sex or extra marital sex to prove that they are “loved”. They get into drug and substance abuse; they do things to prove a point to themselves and others, and to fill the empty gaps. They sad reality is that they don’t get any satisfaction; they end up feeling more inadequate, unworthy, and all the negative feelings. And they continue the self hurt.
WHAT SELF-ESTEEM IS
It is knowing who you are, your strengths and your areas that need to work on to grow. It is the way in which we appreciate and respect ourselves. It is the balanced measure of valuing ourselves. It is asking for forgiveness. Not joking or mocking others, providing family support. It is emphasizing positive features in others. It is recognizing special needs of everyone, controlling your thoughts, keeping fit, forgiving yourself. Self esteem is an honest and positive look at everything that one is and has. It is the ability to ask for help in order to attain self worth and self growth so as to self actualize. This act represents the first step on the path to positive living within the society.
Finding and giving help to our parents, children, youth, leaders, and everybody around us on issues self esteem, will minimize cases of corruption and unacceptable behaviors in our families, churches, community and the government at large. Help and mentorship is available. We don’t have to be an immoral and bent society.